With the Academy Awards statues all given out last night, the 2010 movie awards season has finally come to an end. Or has it? Though many fine films have been honored, many worthy performances celebrated, and the talented behind-the-scenes artists given their due, we at Disc Dish feel a few achievements of note have been overlooked.
So, for your consideration, we present the awards our own awards — the Golden Dishies … or something. Congratulations to the winners. You can thank us later.
Eat Pray Love
The “I Think I Know Where This Is Going” Award for the feature film title that best gives away the story line — Eat Pray Love (Sony Pictures)
The “Going Commando” Award for best use of underwear as a strategic device in an action film — Angelina Jolie, Salt (Sony)
The “Buster Would Be Proud” Award for the most inventive sight gags in a comedy — Micmacs (Sony)
Jesse Eisenberg in Holly Rollers
The “Who Knew” Award for the most off beat appearance of a Hasidic Jew in a drama — Jesse Eisenberg, Holy Rollers (Vivendi Entertainment)
The “M Is for the Many Things She’ll Do to Me” Award for most maniacal matriarch in a feature film — Jacki Weaver, Animal Kingdom (Sony)
The “I Need a Shower” Award for creepiest sex scenes involving a laboratory-produced creature in a science-fiction thriller — Splice (Warner Home Video)
The “That’s Not My Elbow” Award for most claustrophobic film of the year — Lebanon (Sony)
Romain Duris in Heartbreaker
The “Tears of a Clown” Award for funniest crying in a romantic comedy — Romain Duris, Heartbreaker (MPI Home Video)
The “Better Mooooo-ve Out of the Way” Award for best use of a cow stampede as a plot point in a drama — Tamara Drewe (Sony)
The “We’re Real Because We Curse” Award for most continuous and unnecessary use of the “F” word in a romantic comedy – Going the Distance (Warner)
Robert Duvall in Get Low
The “Hair Apparent” Award for best beard in an independent film — Robert Duvall, Get Low (Sony)
The “See, I Told You You’d Like It” Award for best female nudity in a chick flick — Naomi Watts, Mother and Child (Sony)
Prince Adu in The Prince of Broadway
The “W. C. Fields” Award for not letting an infant scene-stealer steal every scene — Prince Adu, The Prince of Broadway (Chadwick Pictures)
The “Laughing at You” Award for best comic performance by the guy who’s not supposed to be the funny one — Marc Wahlberg, The Other Guys (Sony)
Michael Caine in Harry Brown
The “What Else Would You Call Him?” Award for best character description in an action thriller — “The Vigilante Pensioner” as played by Michael Caine in Harry Brown (Sony)
The “Taking it Up a Notch” Award for most ambitious performance by an actor who used to be on the That ‘70’s Show — It’s a Tie! Wilmer Valderrama in Dry Land (Maya Home Entertainment) and Mila Kunis in Black Swan (20th Century Fox)
The “Notch So Much” Award for least ambitious performance by an actor who used to be on That ‘70’s Show — Ashton Kutcher, Killers (Lionsgate)
